“You can have anything you want – if you want it badly enough. You can anything you want to be, do anything you set out to accomplish if you hold to that desire with singleness of purpose.”
~Abe Lincoln
I believe that there are a few key steps to over coming a stuggle:
- Admit you have a struggle (problem, addiction, etc.) – admit it to yourself and others.
- Get accountability – seek someone who will encourage you to succeed, but someone who you feel comfortable enough with that you can admit when you slip up or when you feel the urge to slip up.
- Get a plan – create a plan that will help ensure that you are successful (i.e. plan for the worst!) and don’t forget to STICK TO THE PLAN!
In the past when quitting, I didn’t do any of this. Sure, I tried cold turkey, patches, gum. But that wasn’t a plan. Those were substitutes for an underlying problem. When I tried cold turkey, I lasted all of 3 days. When I tried the patches, I lasted all of 2 months (they made me sick to my stomach and light headed). When I tried the gum, I lasted from the time I put in my mouth, until the 15 seconds later when I spit it out. What I was lacking (among much else) was a plan to quit.
This time around, I have a plan.
I met with my doctor this last Friday (one week ago from today). I told my past experience with quitting, and told her my concerns for quitting this time around. How bad would the cravings get? Will I EVER be able to have a cigarette again in my life (or am I like an alcoholic who can never drink)? Will I be able to sleep after I quit? Will I become depressed? What medication was out there? Should I try cold turkey? What was the best way for me to succeed? Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera!
She told me this: “Don’t worry about the ‘What if’s’ or ‘Will I’s’ but ASSUME that you WILL be successful.”
I was dumbfounded. WHAT!?! Don’t worry and just assume for the best? She said “Yes.”
She also told me: “Assume the best, but plan for the worst.” She said to be concious of when I smoke the most and why and figure out a plan of what to when I want a cigarette at those times. She gave me some examples: call a friend, take a walk, take a shower, suck on a piece of candy, etc. (In my head at this point, I was thinking “Yeah right, and I’ll become a prune because I’m showering so much or addicted to candy.”) I was very skeptical. But she assured me, “You WILL be successful this time.”
So here’s my plan:
- I am officially quitting this Wednesday, March 3rd.
- I have started the medication CHANTIX and will remain on it for 6 months (this may seem like a lot but my doctor said that she has had the most long-term success with patients who have been on it for this period of time). Chantix is a quitting smoking drug that contains no nicotine (unlike most other quitting drugs). It works by blocking the nicotine receptors (which release dopamine) in the brain so that nicotine is no longer being received by the brain and thus taking away the mentality that smoking = happiness. It helps releases dopamine so that you are able to feel the “happiness” without the cigarettes and thus disconnecting the two. The way the drug works it that you begin taking it one week before your quit date. You are allowed to smoke for the first week while on the medication, and one your quit date – you quit. There is still the normal cravings and all the frustrations of quitting, but with a bit of ease. I decided to take Chantix, because I recognize that I couldn’t quit alone. I realized that I was not strong enough to do it all by myself and needed some kind of physical help.
- I will be blogging each day. This is to keep me accountable and to give me a sense of purpose. Without this kind of weight on my shoulders, I know that I would be more prone to “slip up”. But since I have all of you counting on me, encouraging me, and keeping me accountable, I will be less likely to take a cigarette from a friend (because then I will have to openly admit I screwed up).
- In times of struggle, I plan to say my “mantra” which is: “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” ~Romans 8:18 (NKJV). I also plan to call a friend (or my doctor) and talk through it. And I plan to pop a mint if I need one.
- IF I slip up, I plan to allow myself grace – as does my Father in Heaven. Forgive myself, and get right back on the horse. I will not allow myself to get discouraged, angry at myself, blame others or certain circumstances for my slip up, and I will make sure to MOVE FORWARD.
So there you have it. That’s my plan and I’m sticking to it.
If you are an ex-smoker, what was your plan in quitting? If you smoke, do you plan to quit and how? If you’re not a smoker, what is your struggle? Do you plan to quit and how? What do you believe is the best way to overcome an addiction or struggle?
“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will guide you with My eye.”
~Psalm 32:8 (NKJV)
This sounds like a great plan! I agree with you; if you slip up, get back on the horse. With God’s help, you can do this!
Love you like crazy!
This is intense, but you have to have a plan.
I like what you said about giving yourself some grace.
I think a lot of the hard thing is not giving yourself grace when you mess up and in a sense you just quit because you failed.
M,
Way to go! This is a great post for me to read right now. I am not a smoker, but I am someone with a lot on her plate to get done this year. And the importance of goal setting cannot be overstated. I love what your doctor said about assuming that you will be successful. I am going to try that on for size.
Hang in there, I’m rootin’ for ya!
Beth, thanks so much! I’m so glad you were encouraged by my post. Its hard to get a plan and stick to it, but it makes a WORLD of difference! Best of luck!
I was sort of like you – casual “social” smoker. Even hid it from my husband (as if he didn’t know!). I quit cold turkey on New Year’s Eve 1999. Didn’t want to enter another millenium with this “hobby”. Have never looked back. Can’t even stand to smell cigarettes these days. Praying for you, Marissa!
YAY!
With God all things are possible, and He can deliver you. Good for you!
Best of luck to you. I hope you make it.
great great plan! Praying for you!! You WILL be successful!
Okay, I smoked for a LOT of years! I ‘quit’ 3 separate times before the final QUIT, about 2 years ago. I tried support group w/cessation aid drugs (something like what you are taking), tried with the patch, tried cold turkey; nothing worked, the longest I stayed off was 2 months. Finally, with my first child coming along, that was enough motivation and I managed to quit cold turkey. It was a total mental thing and since I quit I am actually made sick if I smell someone who smokes… if I smell cigarette smoke itself, forget about it. I almost need to run from the area where it is before I get sick.
I know it is tough, but, you have a great plan, a great support group, and a great God to depend on. Will be praying for you as you work this out, and we are confident you will come out of this on top! And smelling better! ;P
Sean, thanks so much for your encouragement and sharing your story with me. I get so encouraged by hearing people’s success stories! Hearing others stories encourages me to tell mine and pushing me even further to make sure that I’m successful so that I can one day be the same blessing that all of you are to me!
I am an ex-smoker. I smoked a pack a day for sixteen years.
I was the exact opposite. All my ‘plans’ to quit and talking about quitting and thinking about quitting were all failures.
Cold turkey one day 6 years ago was the only way I could accomplish the quitting goal. And haven’t had a cigarette since then. Not one.
Each person is different. We have different physilogical, psychological makeups.
But we all can do this.
In the end, quitting smoking is the easiest and hardest thing to do. It’s easy to do because all it takes is to not go to the store, not buy the pack, not pull the cigarette out of the pack, not put it to your lips and not light it. It all boils down to things we can control.
But, it is an addiction. And it must be treated as such.
Visitng a doctor was a very wise decision. Addictions are medical issues and you went to the best source.
I’ll pray for your victory over cigarette addiction. And you will be victorious.
Robert, I totally agree. You’re completely right that each person is different and different ways work for different people. For me, I need a plan. I’m a “list” person, I like to know the steps I need to take to meet my goal. Thanks for sharing your insight and your encouragement!
i’m so happy for you! i am an ex-smoker. my husband and i quit together using chantix 3 years ago. it was the miracle drug for us. chantix worked so well for us that we stopped taking it after 2 1/2 months. neither of us has smoked one single cigarette since then. we had no cravings to smoke at all. i hope it works as well for you as it did for us. you will be in my prayers. you can do it!
Melissa, thanks so much for sharing about your experience with Chantix! I am so encouraged by knowing that people have been successful using it! Thanks for your prayers!
You go girl! There is victory! I’m glad you have a plan. And I am going to commit to prayer for you to see it happen.
I smoked for at least 2 decades. And the last 10 years I was a Christian. It was such a struggle. I did like you.. tried.. failed.. tried failed.. ultimately did not try for over a year because I so dreaded the “failure” part.
But the Lord continued to minister His divine grace to me. And the final time I quit.. there were several things different. #1 was I knew that I would never ever pick up a cigarette again. For if I did.. I knew I had not quit and my hard work was in vain. That was huge to think about. If I never picked one up.. I had already quit.. however if I did.. I would have to all over again.
One cigarette is always too many and never enough!
I’m glad there is medication to help people now. I did use patches .. and prayer and accountability etc.
You’ll do it. The biggest hurdle is getting to the point of doing it again. And you are there.
The joy in the experience of that first really DEEP breath you’ll take. I still take these breaths and am nearly overcome by how DEEP they are.
The freedom of waking up without the longing.. or getting up from the table and not needing to smoke.
It’s been well over a decade since I quit. And honestly there are no longer any times I desire to smoke. But yes.. I guess I am like an alcoholic in the sense that I know I can never smoke again.. Cause it will get me.
Do it.. You can!
Martha Garrett
Martha, you are such an encouragement to me! Thanks for sharing your story and helping me realize that I can too do it! I need all the encouraging stories I can get, and yours definitely hit home with me!
Hi, Marissa. Good for you. I’m currently in a stop smoking cessation group, courtesy of my city–to promote a healthier city. Week 7. Patch. Oh. Boy, but no relapses. It is getting better and better. It does get better.
There are many in the class on various replacement therapies and Chantix is being used successfully by others. My doctor used this method and was — has been smoke free now for years.
Your doc is wise. “…plan for the worst.” You won’t be setting yourself up for a failure with this attitude. Your brain will battle with your body. The brain wants the nicotine; the body does not. Smoking is up there as one of the strongest addictions.
You may have to take it by hour after hour, but soon your brain will adjust and accept. The waves (cravings) only last a few minutes. Deep breaths.
Change your routine. Mix up your environment, e.g, place your fav sitting chair etc in a different location, drive to work a different route — all for success.
I can offer: Keep reminding yourself, I don’t do ‘that’ anymore, and if I do, I’m only one away from one-zillion again. I’m not going back to step one again.
It takes time to develop a habit and break a habit. Remind yourself. And most docs say that is about 13 weeks before you can start getting comfortable.
Throw your cigarette savings in a jar and treat yourself later.
-best
ps. Plan on burning an extra 200 calories a day, that’s what a smoker burns. ; )
Kim, you are so sweet to encourage me and give me advice on quitting. I know that it will be touch and that it will be an every day decision, so I appreciate your advice. I am so proud of YOU for making that decision to quit and sticking to it! I love your advice about changing up my environment and routine. Its like the after-breakup hair cut!
Thanks again for your advice and encouragement!
Marissa,
Hi! My name is Carol, I just wanted to let you know I will be praying for you. I know you can do this, because I did it with the Lord’s help when I was 23 I am 48 now. I won’t kid you.. It’s hard at first, but you can do it! And It’s SO worth it! Marissa, I thought I would crave cigarettes all the time and it would be unbearable, NOT SO. After the nicotine was out of my system ( about 1 1/2 mos ) I stopped craving them. I specifically asked the Lord for that. Now I never even think about smoking it’s never been a temptation when others smoke around me. It took a couple of attempts for me to quit, I didn’t beat myself up, just kept pressing toward the goal. You can do this Marissa if, like your quote says.. You want it badly enough. I’ll be praying for you
Thanks so much Carol for your encouragement! I am asking the Lord to take my desire away for cigarettes and put my desire and need toward HIM. Thanks for letting me know that it DOES get easier and that I won’t always crave them!
I would do some research on Chantix before you start taking it. I have heard some pretty bad things about it. At least know what you are taking before you get on the regimen. I recommend relying on God’s grace and mercy instead of a man made drug. Good Luck and Christ be with you.
I have done a lot of research and while I have heard the “horror stories” I have also heard FAR more success stories. I went to my doctor and explored all the options for quitting and for me, I know (because I have tried quitting on my own multiple times) that I need exterior help. That comes in many forms for me: accountability, support and encouragement from friends & family, God’s grace, love, and guidance, and also medication. For me, I know the mental/emotional struggle will be hard for me to over come, but the hardest (at least in the past) is the physically struggle – so that’s why I’m choosing to take Chantix. Thanks for your concern! I appreciate it!
Marissa, I am so impressed with your plan and your vulnerability. Thank you for letting others learn along with you! I’ll be praying for you.
Matt, thanks so much for humbling me and praying for me! I have been blow away by the response I have gotten and have been completely humbled and encouraged by it. Thanks again!
Hi Marissa, that sounds good. I wonder what you thought when you wrote your first blog? It must be hard to press the final click and get totally transparent. Did you hear a voice saying:”Stop it, just consider what people will think”. Did you have fear in striking the final click? Could you hear a whisper from Satan questionning this whole issue of giving up smoking? Or What thoughts did you have?
The good thing is you are giving it up with success, cause you are listening to your heart and speak positive words.
Continue without giving up! It will be worth it all. What are your plans with the money saved?
Beat, I definitely had the thought in my head saying, “Don’t do this, people will judge you.” But luckily, some how I pushed through and the Lord provided ONLY encouraging and supportive replies. I definitely had a VERY hard time choosing to quit. I have felt convicted about it for about the last 6mo. but couldn’t come to terms with it. I made myself believe it really “wasn’t” a big issue. But then, it became to the point where I couldn’t ignore the thoughts anymore. So I decided to quit. Its definitely hard getting to that point, but I’ve just realize to not shut up the voice of God and actually listen. It pays off in the end!
Not sure what I’ll do with the money, maybe take myself to the beach!
You can do it Riss, don’t look back, just look ahead and you will wonder why you ever smoked, I did, it smell’s HORRIBLE, believe me! God is good & with His help you can & will do it. Love you and am praying for you.
Don’t forget to take it one day at a time.
Start small and have faith in God. Some days, you may have to focus on getting through the next hour….but remind yourself to “start small and have faith in God.”
He will always gives you the strength to get through each day!
: )
Marissa, I have no doubt that you will be successful this time around. Your candid exploration of this “challenge” that you face will no doubt be an encouragement to others who hope to quit just like you. Not only are you quitting, I believe that you’ll be helping many other do the same. I know it’s a very over-used comedy routine but I say, “YOU GO GIRL!’
Mark, thanks so much for your encouragement. Your words completely humble and inspire me to be THAT much more successful! Thanks!
you can do this Marissa. I am a former smoker. My late husband told me 20+ years ago that we couldn’t afford both of us smoking and since he had been smoking longer, I had to quit. I hadn’t been smoking long so I was able to quit cold turkey.
He quit, the night he had his heart attack. While I quit when he wanted me to, I wasn’t able to quit the 2nd hand smoke as that was in the days before smoking laws (in Ontario).
Today, due mostly to the 2nd hand smoke I have been exposed to over the years, any cold I get becomes a precursor to bronchitis which can quickly lead to pneumonia.
So, keep in mind, not only are you going to improve your own health, you will be contibuting to the health of those around you. You can do this. You are a smart and determined young lady.
Marissa,
I found your blog through your mom’s tweet linking here. It isn’t easy to be so transparent but I know God is and will continue to use you through this journey. Remember it’s a process, not a sprint. I know because you’re leaning on Him, you are going to have so much to celebrate.
A dear friend of mine used Chantix and she did not have any problems. Her doctor kept in contact to make sure there weren’t side effects.
I pray favor, acceleration, and a total and complete victory for you. I look forward to reading your blog now that I found it.
Blessings,
Julie Arduini: The Surrendered Scribe
Good Luck! I myself was in your position, stared socially smoking and then BAM you are at the counter buying your own. years and years I tried. Honestly, I think YOU have to be motivated by what’s important in your life, for me it was getting pregnant with my daughter! You can do it, and you are surrounded by people who have been where you are and come away successful.
Rachael Dragoo
Rachael, thanks so much. It definitely takes motivation to quit! This is the first time I am truly READY. Even still there is a voice in the back of my head saying “Eh, your still young, just wait a while longer to quit.” But I know that I WILL be successful this time! Thanks so much for your encouragement and advice!
Riss, I started smoking when I was 12 and it was only with the help and support from my family that I quit cold turkey 19 years later. It wasn’t easy for me to quit but IT CAN BE DONE especially with the support from those who love you. Picture yourself as being successful and take it one day at a time. You can do it and you will be so glad you did! I’m praying for you.
Love,
Uncle Jack
Uncle Jack, thank you so much for encouraging me! I’m realizing how much easier it will be to quit with the support of family and friends. It makes a WORLD of a difference! Thanks so much for the advice as well. Hope I can be as successful as you! Love you!
My dear Marissa, I am sooo proud of you … your honesty, your plan, your committment. I love you and you know to call me anytime!
Mary, thanks so much! YOU are the best! And I’m sure I will be calling you as soon as the true quitting has begun!
Hey Marissa
I just found out there’s an “app for that” http://appshopper.com/healthcare-fitness/my-last-cigarette
Praying and believing Hebrews 11:6
Good for you! I have a family member who struggles with something that takes constant mental vigilance to overcome. I have watched her as she first shared with others and then got help.
It is a joy and delight to watch her. You are doing all the right things, and I’m so glad you have the loving support of your family. I’ll be thinking and praying about you on March 3rd, and after.
You Go, girl!
Hi Marissa,
I found your blog from your Mom’s Tweet earlier. You’re doing a great thing and should be very proud of yourself for tackling this at a young enough age before smoking does more damage to your body and before the habit is so attached to your lifestyle.
I started smoking when I was 13, I smoked for 10 years but quit when I got pregnant with my first child. It was easy to quit then because I did it for him. I lived a non-smoker for 15 years with no struggles, until I lost my faith, back slid, fought mid-life crisis, peri-menopause, & sexual identity crisis… just to name a few things.
Among a list of addictions I picked backed up was smoking cigarettes. I smoked another 10 years until I finally surrendered my life and body completely to God. Since sobriety for me was a package deal, a total lifestyle change, it was a bit easier.
Sober now 5 yrs, there are days I crave tobacco. I have slipped with cigs a few times but I too give myself grace! It’s not about legalism, but with a pure heart and motivation God will give us the strength to press on.
The best thing that has helped me overcoming my addictions is clearly and simply one thing: The Word of God! My favorite Bible that got me through those tough months and years is The Life Recovery Bible. An excellent tool with the 12 Steps built in.
I would find a specific scripture, put it on a 3×5 card and keep it with me through out the day. Even going to sleep with it in my hand at times.
I can’t stress enough how much God’s Word has transformed my mind, my body, my soul… my life!
A few of my favorite scriptures:
Don’t throw away this confident trust in the Lord, no matter what happens. Remember the great reward it brings you! Patient endurance is what you need now, so you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised. ~ Heb. 10:35 NLT
No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. ~Heb. 12:11
You will keep [her] in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you. ~ Isa. 26:3
With God, your great plan, wonderful family & friends supporting you, you’re sure to make your way to victory!
God Bless You!
Tamara
http://www.reachinghurtingwomen.com
Tamara,
I am completely overwhelmed with your comment. Your encouragement and YOUR success is totally inspiring to me. Today is the first day of being smoke free and I can tell you this. There are two very important things that have helped me get through this day so far – support and His Word.
You are totally right that the Word is transforming. I am beginning to see a transformation in my thoughts and mindset already!
I SO thank you for giving me advice and encouragement and above all encouraging me to press forward in His Word. Those verses are fabulous! And I, too, will be writing them on index cards to keep with me!
Thanks again!
Hi Marissa,
I have been following your journey to quit since you announced it and having quit smoking and other addictions myself, am determined to support you in what ever way I can.
Congratulations on your decision! From here on out, your success will be determined by the decisions and actions YOU take.
You are doing a LOT of things right. I have nothing but praise for your decision to seek medical advice and help to beat this addiction. Your Dr. gave you excellent advice. Follow it! Much has been said on the tweets and comments in this blog. You are a smart young lady and will cull out the ideas and try and apply them to your circumstance as they have value.
Just a couple of suggestions to put in your toolkit:
Load your phone with a list of two to three times the support people you think you’ll need. People aren’t always available. I remember one time I was in a bad place and it took me a lot of numbers before I got a hold of someone. All I needed was someone to listen and then I was ok.. Let these people know why you may be calling in advance. Promise you’ll ALWAYS call someone when you crave.. No matter what!
Avoid triggers.. Places and activities where you always smoked. Try to avoid the emotions that caused you to light up. You may need to take an inventory of yourself to find out what these circumstances are and their underlying causes.
Most important: Ask God to take away the craving EVERY morning.. and give Him thanks EVERY night for not lighting up. For it is God who will lift the craving.. One day at a time.
You can do it!
Kurt,
That is fabulous advice. Thank you so much for sharing it with me. Luckly with the Chantix comes an online support program that sends me an email a day with activities to help me success. One of those activities was creating a “Master Risk List” with all my high risk situations and what to do in those situations. For example: High Risk Situation is driving, or after I eat and some solutions are – doing something active, change routine, keep my hands busy, etc. It has really helped me with thinking about situations that may otherwise be compromising.
Another great feature of the Get Quit program is the help line. They have a 24/7 support line that I can call to talk to an educated & certified tobacco specialist whenever I need to. I also have created a list of people that are my “support group” to call when I’m craving.
I am so thankful for your encouragement and advice. I am needing all the support I can get at this point. I’m ready to be successful and if that means I need 100 people holding me, then thats what it takes!
Thanks again Kurt! I truly appreciate it!
Hi- I am on my 10th day with Chantix and found your blog. Just wondering how it was going and if you have had any side effects?
So far so good with me, although I have slipped up twice. I am still trying.
Good Luck and keep us posted